I am embarking on yet another new passage in my life and giving up my beloved hormonal birth control...
This may seem like an overly personal thing to post on the internet, but I think blogging about it is the probably the easiest and fairest way to warn you all that I may be going slightly nuts for the next few weeks (or months) so you can take appropriate action involving underground bunkers and tin hats.
So, you ask, if this birth control is beloved, why are you giving it up? The answer to that is that it is not out of choice. After my long summer of Roaccutane last year I had perfect smooth movie star skin. For three whole weeks...before it erupted in an angry oily pustulent mess that even a fourteen year old wouldn't tolerate. When I finally got an appointment with the dermatologist, he was fairly sure the problem was being caused by the progesterone in my Depo Provera injection. The only way to find out was to stop getting my shot.
That dark day dawned this week and I'm not looking forward to doing without my hormones. While hormonal birth control seems to send a lot of women into a downward spiral of mood swings and misery, it has always been a great thing for me. I started taking the Pill at 17 and almost immediately felt calmer and more level generally. Unfortunately the oestrogen in the Pill isn't suitable for me thanks to my pesky gallbladder problems, so about 9 years ago I switched to Depo.
I've never met another woman who actually likes the contraceptive injection. Tales of mental health problems, heavy bleeding and massive weight gain have always accompanied it in conversation. I've had none of those problems and have revelled in the years I haven't needed to bother having a period. If I could continue to take it for the rest of my life I would, but I've been tripped up by my lifelong nemesis in the shape of my complexion. And true to form, I'm desperate enough for good skin that I'll risk being hormone free.
So if in the next few months I turn into a raging raving lunatic with steam coming out my ears, please be nice enough to ignore that fact and compliment me on my lovely complexion instead. That should be enough to slay the hormone-less beast inside me!
Monday morning dawned with some good news...the Daily Mail has decided at which arbitrary age women are acceptable to them and for the next 8 or so weeks, I fit the bill! Yes, 31 is apparently the age at women have reached their peak appeal.
I started this blog as a way to talk to myself as I worked my way toward rebuilding my life after experiencing two rapes. Then other people started reading it too and I realised talking about myself wasn't enough and expanded it to having an opinion on everything, especially women and sexual violence. I want this to be a safe welcoming space so please assume all posts need a trigger warning for rape, PTSD, general trauma related crappiness and bad jokes. I'm thrilled anyone reads it and want everyone to feel welcome, including men who may have been victims. I talk about rape from a woman's perspective as that's my own experience, but don't want to exclude anyone who doesn't feel their experience is the same. Feel free to browse or make comments. These are moderated so any apologist crap hits the bin, but not to boost my ego. Anonymous comments or pseudonyms are fine by me since I only blog anonymously myself. Thanks for reading. I do reward you with the odd lighthearted post as well...